How To Navigate Grief And Your Finances After The Death Of A Spouse

I recently caught up with a widow who had this bright and hopeful presence. She felt confident in her life and finances and was about to embark on the trip of a lifetime. I’d first met her immediately following the shocking death of her spouse years prior. It was a long and hard road to get to where she is today.

When I speak with people who have recently lost a spouse, they are often overwhelmed by all the financial and administrative tasks they need to handle while navigating their grief. This is how to get your finances in order while working through grief after losing a spouse.

Give Yourself Time To Grieve

Because of everything that must get done, I find that the surviving spouse sometimes doesn’t feel like they can create the space and time they need to grieve. Dedicate time to seeking support from family, friends, or mental health professionals. Grief doesn’t follow a set path for everyone so you should be gentle and patient with yourself. Supporting both your physical and mental health during this time is critical.

Assess Immediate Financial Needs First

The time immediately after the death of a loved one can involve a lot of bills. You may have hospital expenses to pay, along with burial or cremation costs. You also want to take stock of your regular bills for the next six months, including housing costs, insurances, utilities, taxes, and other fixed expenses. Once you understand all your immediate costs, you’ll want to secure assets to cover those costs.

If any financial assets are just in your late spouse’s name without instructions for transfer on death, once you inform a bank or financial institution of the death, that asset may be untouchable for a long legal process. So, if any bills are coming out automatically from an account like that, consider waiting to complete the death claim process until you’ve secured funds from another source.

For any joint accounts, you’ll want to ensure you have access, particularly if your deceased spouse was the main person managing that account. If you don’t have your login information, you may need to get in contact with the institution.

You’ll also want to understand if they had any life insurance coverage and complete those claims to give you immediate liquidity. If your late spouse was employed, they may have life insurance coverage both through their employer and private insurance. To gain access to funds from insurance companies or financial institutions, you will need to have several copies of the death certificate to share for legal purposes.

When You Have More Capacity, Address Other Legal And Administrative Tasks

Once the immediate financial concerns have been addressed and you’ve had some time to adjust and work through some grief, you may have some capacity to take on more of the things that must be done following the death of a spouse.

Nonretirement Assets

If any of your late spouse’s assets are subject to probate, including properties, bank accounts, and other nonretirement assets in just their name, you will also need to work with an attorney to complete that process and distribute the assets through their estate. This process usually takes at least nine months.

Retirement Assets

For non-probate accounts with direct beneficiaries, like Individual Retirement Accounts, 401(k)s, 403(b)s, 457s, pensions and Social Security, you will want to inform the institution of the death and provide a death certificate. As the surviving spouse and the beneficiary, you can choose to move retirement accounts into your name and treat them as if they were yours from the start.

Updating Wills And Trusts

If you had a will or trust in place with your late spouse, you’ll want to update these documents to reflect your current wishes. If you have any assets subject to probate, consider putting those into the name of your trust or adding transfer on death instructions to make this process easier on your loved ones if you ever pass away or become incapacitated.

Updating Beneficiaries

Following the death of your spouse, you’ll want to review the beneficiary designations of all your assets and update those designations where appropriate.

Work Toward A Financially Secure Future

After securing all your accounts, addressing legal considerations, and handling administrative tasks, you may have some capacity to look towards your financial future. This timeline could be a few months following your spouse’s passing but is often over a year after.

Addressing Liabilities

If you were left with debts or liabilities, it’s critical to understand the terms of those liabilities. If the funds and insurance proceeds that you received were significant enough that you can both cover debts and meet your other financial goals, you may be inclined to pay off debts in full. If the funds received were not sufficient to cover all outstanding debts, prioritize paying down the highest interest debt first, such as credit card debt.

Financial Planning

Your financial goals and income needs might change dramatically following this loss. You will want to think about what is important to you personally. Is it a priority to move closer to loved ones? Do you think you may want to travel more? Think in terms of short-term, intermediate, and long-term goals, being realistic about the financial resources each goal may take.

Enlisting Professional Support

Working with a qualified financial planner can simplify the process of discovering what financial security looks like to you and supporting in investment decisions moving forward.

Conclusion

Navigating the complexities of grief while getting your finances in order after the death of a spouse is undoubtedly challenging. However, with patience, support, and a structured approach, it is possible to regain financial stability and even find hope for the future. Remember to give yourself the time and space to grieve, address immediate financial needs first, and gradually take on other legal and administrative tasks as you feel ready. Once you are ready to focus on your future, consider enlisting the help of a qualified financial planner to guide you through this difficult period and help you plan for a financially secure future. By taking these steps, you can honor your late spouse's memory while also supporting your own financial future in the next chapter of your life.

This article was originally published by me on Forbes.com.

This informational and educational article does not offer or constitute, and should not be relied upon as, tax or financial advice. Your unique needs, goals and circumstances require the individualized attention of your own tax and financial professionals whose advice and services will prevail over any information provided in this article. Equitable Advisors, LLC and its associates and affiliates do not provide tax or legal advice or services. Equitable Advisors, LLC (Equitable Financial Advisors in MI and TN) and its affiliates do not endorse, approve or make any representations as to the accuracy, completeness or appropriateness of any part of any content linked to from this article.

Cicely Jones (CA Insurance Lic. #: 0K81625) offers securities through Equitable Advisors, LLC (NY, NY 212-314-4600), member FINRA, SIPC (Equitable Financial Advisors in MI & TN) and offers annuity and insurance products through Equitable Network, LLC, which conducts business in California as Equitable Network Insurance Agency of California, LLC). Financial Professionals may transact business and/or respond to inquiries only in state(s) in which they are properly qualified. Any compensation that Ms. Jones may receive for the publication of this article is earned separate from, and entirely outside of her capacities with, Equitable Advisors, LLC and Equitable Network, LLC (Equitable Network Insurance Agency of California, LLC). AGE- 7005034.1 (9/24(exp. 9/28)